Para simo.

it was november when i last did this.. but this time i wont try to come back.. i spent a lot of time trying to convince myself nga tanan ni tuod.. i dont even know if it matters to you, but to me it does. everything happened so fast.. i didnt even had the time to say goodbye to you completely.. i broke my promise when you left me that night. i cried.. i didnt want to let you see how weak i am dats why until now im still trying to be strong. not just for me, but for you. kay kbalo ko you hate guilt trips. and i dont want to give you that. i want you to be happy.. i want you to fulfill your dreams and do what you do best..being a lucky charm. i want you to reach every goal you have and make all your fantasies come true. i want you to be the happiest person in the whole world jan.. i want you to succeed in everything. i want you to see life at its fullest and i want you to count every second as if it was your last. make the best of everything.. even the worst. you only have one life to live. live it well.. and dont ever give up when you feel like it. dont.. people are counting on you. even your mom, i know she wants to see you succeed. so please, never give up. and always smile.. that's one of the best gifts God has given you, your sweet, sly grin that never failed to make me happy. i know i wasnt the perfect girl for you, but i had no regrets.. atleast i tried.. and i hope i did made you happy, even in the smallest ways.

i believed you when you said you loved me, i believed every word you said.. i never doubted you, not once. i never blamed you.. and i never hated you.. even if i told everybody that i do, i never felt like i did. i never got used to hating you. i was always contented loving you in the way only you and i can understand.. and until now i feel that same love for you. unconditional and selfless..

that's why im letting you go.. this time it's just not the alcohol.. this time it's all of me. im letting you go because that's what's best for you. im letting you go because you need it, and i need it. im letting you go because you have to find another love that can heal those scars i made.. im letting you go because i love you, and i always will.. i never wanted to lose you.. i told you that a million times.. but i guess this time, we have to let go of everything we had just so we can start all over again, to have a new life. it hurts me alot knowing i can never have that same feeling with you again. i can never see your face in the morning.. i can never touch you, and feel your presence when im scared.. but i have to do this, even if it kills me.

remember when i told you that id wait for you? after everything you did, i still waited.. until now i still am. but maybe, just maybe.. we're not really meant for each other just like what we always thought.. just like what we always wanted.. we'll never grow old with each other and we'll never have a Dylan. instead, we'll age, apart from each other, both with different worlds. and someday when we cross again, i hope you'd still remember the feeling i made you feel that night when i whispered "forever and ever"..

i love you.. always..